Proof My Cats Are Trying To Kill Me*

I see the way they nonchalantly sit together, as though simply enjoying each other’s company.

cats together on chair

But I swear, sometimes it feels like my cats are conspiring against me. Alice – our black and white female- and Percy – our marbled gray male – are two peas in a feline pod.

They orchestrate the most conniving acrobatics underfoot, and you can daily hear a $#%^*!! uttered by someone in our family trying to avoid a serious fall. They are ninja kitties, and I often wonder if perhaps they would be more effective than our two large dogs at taking down a burglar.

I mean, just look at how they lie in wait.

alice in the sink

alice and percy in the hall

cats on the stairs

If you have cats, do you ever wonder if they have any nefarious intentions towards you?


*of course I don’t really think my cats are trying to kill me. most days.