How To Date Your Wife

Now that my husband and I have celebrated our 18th year of marriage, I have learned a lot about spending time together, or in this case, dating. And specifically – how a husband should date his wife.

You’ll notice I don’t say anything here about the date needing to be elaborate or expensive, or needing to happen on a weekly basis. It’s more about thought and preparation, and in my experience, those two things go a looooong way. With a little bit of effort, it’s possible to make your wife feel valued, loved, appreciated, and even rested and relaxed after just one evening.

So, husbands, here it is: HOW TO DATE YOUR WIFE:



  1. Ask her out. Preferably by Tuesday for a Friday or Saturday date – give her something to look forward to (and make sure there’s nothing already on the calendar!).
  2. Arrange for a babysitter if necessary. Or, if you have a child old enough to babysit, make sure he/she knows they are on tap to work for you that night.
  3. If someone will be babysitting your younger children, make sure there is an easy dinner option to eat/serve. There’s nothing less fun for a mom than fixing a meal she’s not even going to eat.
  4. Get casual feedback about where your wife might like to go, or give some time to thinking about places she has enjoyed in the past. Do NOT ask her, “Where do you want to go?” You’re taking her out, remember? You pick the place and take her there.
  5. Be prepared to talk about anything other than the kids, house projects, the bills, etc.  This is your time to reconnect as adults – talk current events, tell a joke, talk about taking a trip or where you’d like to be in five years.
  6. Try not to over-schedule the day of your date – try to be available to your wife for an hour or so before you leave for the date. Give your wife the chance to take a shower if she’d like, or do her make-up, or change her clothes. Let her enjoy the process of getting ready to go out.
  7. Related to that – try to schedule the date to begin no later than 6pm. This gives you the chance to maybe do a couple of different things on your date. OR, if it’s been a long week and your wife is tired, this will keep her from feeling like she’s falling asleep on the date.
  8. But…you have to time things just right, because you should keep her out late enough so young children (if you have them) are in bed when you get home.
  9. Hopefully this goes without saying, but never make a mention of getting a little…you know…action…in return for your valiant efforts in taking her on a nice date.
  10. Rinse and repeat, at least monthly.

What do you think, husbands? Is this a “do-able” list? And what about you, wives? Is there anything you would add to it?