How To Date Your Wife

Now that my husband and I have celebrated our 18th year of marriage, I have learned a lot about spending time together, or in this case, dating. And specifically – how a husband should date his wife.

You’ll notice I don’t say anything here about the date needing to be elaborate or expensive, or needing to happen on a weekly basis. It’s more about thought and preparation, and in my experience, those two things go a looooong way. With a little bit of effort, it’s possible to make your wife feel valued, loved, appreciated, and even rested and relaxed after just one evening.

So, husbands, here it is: HOW TO DATE YOUR WIFE:



  1. Ask her out. Preferably by Tuesday for a Friday or Saturday date – give her something to look forward to (and make sure there’s nothing already on the calendar!).
  2. Arrange for a babysitter if necessary. Or, if you have a child old enough to babysit, make sure he/she knows they are on tap to work for you that night.
  3. If someone will be babysitting your younger children, make sure there is an easy dinner option to eat/serve. There’s nothing less fun for a mom than fixing a meal she’s not even going to eat.
  4. Get casual feedback about where your wife might like to go, or give some time to thinking about places she has enjoyed in the past. Do NOT ask her, “Where do you want to go?” You’re taking her out, remember? You pick the place and take her there.
  5. Be prepared to talk about anything other than the kids, house projects, the bills, etc.  This is your time to reconnect as adults – talk current events, tell a joke, talk about taking a trip or where you’d like to be in five years.
  6. Try not to over-schedule the day of your date – try to be available to your wife for an hour or so before you leave for the date. Give your wife the chance to take a shower if she’d like, or do her make-up, or change her clothes. Let her enjoy the process of getting ready to go out.
  7. Related to that – try to schedule the date to begin no later than 6pm. This gives you the chance to maybe do a couple of different things on your date. OR, if it’s been a long week and your wife is tired, this will keep her from feeling like she’s falling asleep on the date.
  8. But…you have to time things just right, because you should keep her out late enough so young children (if you have them) are in bed when you get home.
  9. Hopefully this goes without saying, but never make a mention of getting a little…you know…action…in return for your valiant efforts in taking her on a nice date.
  10. Rinse and repeat, at least monthly.

What do you think, husbands? Is this a “do-able” list? And what about you, wives? Is there anything you would add to it?


  • Oh I so love this!!! Will share on my hubby’s facebook wall. LOL. I think you totally hit every nail on it’s head! If you don’t mind, I would love to share in my favorite posts this week on my blog! 🙂

  • I love this. Where was it 10 years ago?? You hit the nail on the head though. That time alone is essential to all marriages. If we don’t have it the minutia of every day life sets in and that’s when you wind up in real trouble 🙂

  • Mama Bear

    It is so true that timing is everything!  Last time when my hubby and I went out, we called home and found out that the little dudes weren’t in bed yet, so we went to Target, Best Buy…anywhere JUST so they would be in bed when we got home!!!  I think I need to send this link to hubby dearest, though.  I do not like it when I am the one who ALWAYS has to decide where we are going to go!  I make way too many other decisions daily and it is so relaxing to be taken somewhere and not have to make any decisions about it!

  • Vincent ZappaCosta

    I think it can work for any type of relationship. After 17 years, we often have our date nights, without even thinking much about them. I think its great to do & it should not be a forced effort. For us, its always been a natural extension of what we want to do. We enjoy laughing, eating & enjoying our company.

  • Larry Bird

    After 40 years of weekly date nights I have two comments. 1st, tell her in advance where you plan on going so she can prepare for it (whatever that means to her). 2nd, forget yourself entirely. If you keep her foremost in your thinking and planning and doing you won’t be sorry.