Why Modesty Wins

This past Saturday was my 14yo daughter’s 8th grade dance.

The weekend before, we had spent a good four hours looking for a dress we could both agree on – I insisted it be modest, she insisted it be cute. No wonder it took us four hours, right?

Now, I admit, my definition of “modest” may be different than yours. For me, modest clothing includes shoulders covered (cap sleeves are generally ok), nothing low-cut, no midsection exposed, and length of dresses, skirts, or capris to at least just above the knee.

It seem like a miracle, but we did find a dress that fit the bill – modest AND cute – hanging rather willy-nilly on the endcap of an aisle at Ross. For $15, even. S – C – O – R – E.

My daughter went to the dance feeling cute and confident, and came back with a rather interesting report.

According to her, most of her friends spent half the night either pulling up strapless dresses that were about to fall, fixing skinny straps that had fallen, or pulling down skirts that kept shimmying higher and higher while they danced. My daughter chuckled to herself as she told me these stories, then gave herself even more points for wearing flats with her dress. Apparently most of the girls were also in sky-high heels and complained of pain most the night.

I love that my daughter felt she could be herself at the dance, and concentrate on having a great time rather than feeling self-conscious of what she was wearing. This time around, modesty totally won.

maddy 8th grade dance

maddy cinemascope

ps: just as an FYI, the dress itself was plenty modest – it was my daughter’s style preference to add the little jacket, belt, and tights. I love how she pulled it all together!

  • Anonymous

    Good for both of you! That is a really cute dress, and she looks beautiful! 

  • Natalie Tippetts

     Modesty always wins.  Thanks for sharing, Stacey!  And how cute is she in that dress?  

  • Jessica Rosenberg

    That dress is adorable! and I love how you showed her that you can be cute without looking trashy! And all for $15? WIN! 

  • Brittany

     I’m her new sunday school teacher (for the summer) and i saw it on Sunday…so cute!! I was a member all through high school and looking back I wish I would have made more modest choices in my dance dresses. They were never that bad…spaghetti straps were the worst of it but I didn’t set a very good example, even if I was modest the rest of the time.

  • Becca

    she is adorable!! and having confidence, about your body and your clothes, shines through any style (lessons learned way too late by me). I love the dress, love how she put it together and love that it’s probably very versitile. I love when things can be worn for more than one occasion. You scored on more than the price! 🙂

  • And she looks gorgeous! So glad you’ve made modesty a priority–and that your daughter sees it, too! AWESOME.

  • She’s precious and the dress is darling! I also love that she recognized the benefits of modesty. 

  • Cute!

    And I agree- modesty is so often just more comfortable and convenient.  It’s nice to have room to move (not too tight) and to not have to hike something up, hide a strap, or worry that something’s showing.

    I feel bad for those girls wearing heels and not used to them!  New shoes + heels + dancing = never going there again!

  • Lauralee Hensley

    I love her outfit and it looks really great on her.  I’m glad she had a good time.

  • CoolerNights

     Wow! She is looking so beautiful and adorable I like her and her dress is quite pretty.I like this post very very much.Thank you for sharing with us.

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  • Karin-karin

    these tights make the dress even more modest, very good

  • Jessica Barrus Morgan

    Now that my internet is back, I’m getting around to my google reader 🙂
    I LOVE her outfit, and she is so gorgeous! I love that she is confident and happy. (As are all of your girls!)

  • I absolutely love this post. I am already trying to teach my almost-5 year old girl about modesty. She put on a dress last week, then told me that she needed “pants under it, because I want to be DISCREET, Mommy!”
    I love that your daughter saw the benefits of wearing that really cute dress.
    You’re a good momma. 

  • Terra Heck

    Your daughter looks wonderful in the dress.  She looks stylish and I’m sure she had a better time than those who had to tug and pull at their dresses to keep them in place.

  • my 14 year old daughter wore a dress that was too shrt last week to a dance. half way thrugh she found a pair of skinny jeans  in the  car and the night improved a whole lot.

  • When the kid agrees with you, that’s a major score for mom!