Motherhood Makes My Eyes Cross


Hold up your hand at eye level, several inches away, palm towards your face.  Focus on your fingers.  Then slowly move your hand towards your face.  I dare you not to lose focus without your eyes crossing.

That’s how motherhood has been feeling for me lately.

Of the many things I feel I’ve maybe sorta botched in the motherhood department, sometimes I wonder if I have been TOO accessible as a mother.  In wanting my kids to come to me, trust me, confide in me, I’ve failed at drawing clear boundaries that help me to focus and stay clear-headed. 

When I’ve been asked one too many questions or told one too many long-winded stories about the minutea of their day, I end up snapping.  I tell them to scram.  Or I hide in my room.  By the looks on their faces, you’d think they had found the doors locked at the 24hr Walmart.  And I understand their confusion – I tell them they can always come to me, and yet I don’t always want them to come to me.

How do you draw boundaries?  How do you keep things in focus?  How do you let your kids know you are always there for them, but within reason?

  • My kids ramble forever about meaningless garble… especially the girl. She can talk forever and a day. This is when I’m biting my tongue wanting to scream ‘enough already… get to the point!’ She’s pretty good about discussing problems. I’m hoping it stays that way as she get older.

    The boys.. it’s like pulling teeth. We have to drag every detail from them. We can tell when something is wrong, but it seems to take forever to get them to talk about it.

    Sorry…no fabulous words of wisdom here, just another sympathizing mom.
    .-= Christina @RantRaveRoll´s last blog ..OR I COULD JUST BE NUTS =-.

  • I think it is because you have so many girls. Not only that but your girls are teen/tween age. You know what? I take that back. I have one girl and four boys and often feel the same way. I walk in the door after work, wanting to decompress, and am bombarded with yelling, questioning, sharing, needing, needing, needing and I scream and hide in my bathroom for a time. Then, I suck it up, put on my brave face and walk back out to enjoy/bear the cacophony I have created. I draw the line after evening family prayer. Once the babies go to bed, all bets are off for mom time. Mom time becomes me time and the children know to back off. My husband is fiercely protective of me during this time and it maintains my sanity. The drawback is it keeps me up too late most of the time. I’ll take it though. It’s all I have and I cherish it.
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Seth’s baptism part 2 =-.

  • I know what you mean. Sometimes I want to change my name from “mom” just so I can hear somthing different. 🙂

    You’re gonna laugh (or roll your eyes) but this is one that comes up often on Supernanny. Some of the suggestions she’s said are to establish your working time (or whatever your silent time is) and your available time. a.k.a. routine. Another option is to use a timer. “Let me have quiet for for 15 minutes, then I’m all yours for 15 minutes.” And then follow through exactly as you say you will. I’ve tried the timer thing with my boys and it’s worked because they know they WILL get to tell me. Though they’re certainly a lot younger than most of yours.

    There was a church talk I heard forever ago about moms being at the crossroads. Again, I realize the numbers in my family are much fewer and much younger, but my sons and my husband are all the type who walk in the door and unload. I make sure I’m available to catch them at that crossroad where the day’s adventure meets walking in the door at home (which also often coincides with sitting down for an after school snack). I guess you could say I’ve built it into my schedule. Then, once they’ve gotten it out of their systems, I’m pretty free to go for a while.

    I guess we pay for our blessings. You have five beautiful children. Five wonderful children. But they all need their mom every day. I can only imagine how that builds up over time. Good luck on your trip (where children will NOT be tugging at your ears all day)!
    .-= Rachel D´s last blog ..Wedding Dress =-.

  • I struggle to draw boundaries also. I guess that’s why I spend so much time hiding from them in the pantry. That, and because that’s where the cookies are. Stopped by frmo SITS to say hello.
    .-= Dumb Mom´s last blog ..RanDumb: Relief =-.

  • I know exactly what you mean, and I only have (1 preteen) 2 children to deal with. There’s a lot of “Please honey, I love you, and I AM interested in your day, but can we take a pause for a few minutes, please?” Then I turn the radio up. Haha.