Feeling Like a June Bug

When we lived in Oregon, the only reference I ever made to “June Bug” was a nickname given to my youngest daughter (whose middle name is June).  Here in the Houston area, it’s a whole different story!  As I sit here typing, the June Bugs are tapping a crazy rhythm against my front door and windows.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like a bit of a June Bug myself.  In the mornings I’ll walk out on my porch and see many of my late-night visitors belly-up on the concrete, some of them still writhing around, attempting to gain purchase and proper perspective.  To get on solid ground.  When they do get rightside-up, they tear off in crazy directions, often finding themselves up against the same obstacles and flat on their backs once more.

A lot of my blog posts and Twitter and Facebook updates have mentioned the situational stress and depression I’ve been feeling lately.  On one hand, I hesitate to share those things, mostly because I don’t want to be such a downer!  On the other hand, I don’t want to sit here silent, either, and besides – sometimes life just kind of stinks.

I think things are looking up for me, though.  The days of my husband’s constant work travel are nearing an end (for now, anyway).  He’s even looking to send ME away some time next week for a much-needed break.  We’ve only got a month left of summer, and even before then we’ll have some routine changes as marching band begins and the girls go to church camp and preparations are made for the fall.  I’ll feel a massive burden lift as my husband is here more to help, and as I don’t feel so wholly responsible for entertaining and occupying five kids home for the summer.

You know, as aimless as most June Bugs can be, they must be doing something right, or else, how could there be so many of them?  And how could they keep coming back, year after year?  Maybe they run into the doors and windows because they don’t perceive them as obstacles, or maybe they feel strong enough to knock them down.  They are persistent and determined little buggars.  I guess it’s not so bad to be feeling like a June Bug after all.

  • I find I get the most response from posts in which I’m open and honest about how HARD a job parenting can be. I love my children and marriage, but sometimes I absolutely HATE being a mom. There are those who might attack me for my feelings, but the ones who do speak out appreciate my honesty.

    Summer, as “relaxing” as it’s supposed to be, is my most difficult season to get through. No matter how much direction I try to provide my kids, I always feel a bit like a June Bug on its back.

    Great post!