Too Real for Reality TV

As we gathered for family dinner tonight, I was all excited to propose a crazy idea to the herd.

“What do you think about auditioning for a new reality tv show?”

Speaking of herd, they really did look like a bunch of cows chewing on cud just then – staring at me with blank, glossy eyes as they ate their spaghetti and meatballs.

Undeterred, I continued:  “It would mean seeing the country, spending tons of time together, having great adventures!”  I managed to mutter one of the few caveats:  “But, um…the boys wouldn’t be able to come, it’s just for families with kids ages 10 and older…but we and the girls would have a fabulous time!”

“Sounds great,” my 7 year old son answered, “for you.”  My 18 month showed his brotherly solidarity by chucking a meatball on the floor.  Then again, he would have done that anyway – sometimes he’s a hard one to read.

Only my 10yo daughter showed any signs of interest, perking up enough to say that she thought it would be great to live in an RV for two months.  My 15yo gasped a hideous gasp at that point, shaking her head and telling me without words that she did not find that an acceptable arrangement.

“Besides,” the 15yo said, referring to the early May-late June taping dates, “I can’t miss that much school!”  I refrained from commenting on the sudden and unexpected passion for her studies.

Trying to regroup, I asked my husband, “Don’t you think it would be really FUN?  We haven’t done anything really FUN in a really long time!”

To which he replied:  “Would it just be you and the girls going?”  I’m sure he was thinking of the entire SE region of Texas that he manages for his work – like they couldn’t get along without him for 8 weeks or something!

Then the 12yo said, “If we left, what would we do with the boys?!”

Okayokayokayokay…I get it.  We have a life.  We can’t just wisk off for two months and be part of some crazy reality tv show, even if it looks a lot like the domestic version of the show we watch as a family every single Sunday night at 8, 7 Central.  Getting to do the kinds of things those families do will just have to wait – right now our life is just too real for reality tv.

(*insert wistful sigh and slight frowny face*)